With every day having a long to-do list and frequent demands, it’s hard enough for those of us with ADHD to keep up with the stuff that has to be done. Much less the extras, no matter how important they are to us. And that’s when life isn’t hard.
Two years ago. my Dad was diagnosed with ALS and my capacity for getting anything done took a nosedive. When he died during Hurricane Helene, that fledgling capacity was clinging to was all but obliterated. Since then, I’ve needed simpler strategies to get anything done; what worked before required more mental and physical energy than life had left me with. There were all kinds of things I wanted–and needed–to get to, but they all swirled around in my brain, growing weighter and more overwhelming. And of course, my brain never thought of them at times it was practical or even possible to work on them, anyway.
Related: ADHD & Overwhelmed: How to Stop it in its Tracks
I started experimenting with a simple strategy that, with a few tweaks, has been surprisingly effective during this weird ADHD/grief shutdown. I’ve gone from hardly being able to get myself to do anything, to doing something every day toward my goals. It’s even gotten me back into exercising. Consistently. That’s how I know it’s working, to be honest. Exercise fell by the wayside a while back.
What I created is deceptively simple and surprisingly effective. If you tweak it for your own goals, I think it could help you be more consistent with the things that matter to you as well.
The ADHD Template
Disclaimer: This is not a daily to-do list. This is not where you put every little thing you need to get done that day. If you use it that way, it will probably get too overwhelming to be helpful. This is a basic template to help you work toward getting consistent with things that matter to you but are usually forgotten or ignored.
Tools needed: a daily checklist skeleton + option list + the finch app
Optional: small, personal white board
Part 1: Daily Checklist Skeleton
The first thing to create is your Daily Checklist Skeleton. I usually put this on my small whiteboard because how you fill it out changes each day and writing on whiteboards is far superior to regular, boring old pen and paper. But you do you.
You’ll need to decide on categories of things that you want to give some focus to each day but often don’t. They can be work related, personal or, like mine, a combination of both. Three of my categories are related to work I want to do for this blog, and two of them are personal. Your categories could be anything that is important to you and you can choose how many you want to work with. If your day is already pretty full, you might choose two categories instead of the five I have.
Category ideas could be something like personal development, self care, housework, health, hobbies, professional development…the options are endless. Below are the categories I use; no doubt yours will be different, but you can see they are a mix of more specific and more general items. Feel free to play around with that.
Action step: Choose your specifics and how many–if five feel overwhelming, start with fewer. You can always add more when you’re ready.
Part 2: Option Lists
These are vital to the success of this template, so don’t cut corners or skimp on this part. The checklist skeleton isn’t enough on its own–the option lists are a big part of why this system is more ADHD friendly than others.
Caveat #1:
These have to be written down and saved so that you can reference them later. Do not try to just ‘remember them.’ Even if you legitimately could do that (and let’s be honest, that’s a bit sus), you will waste important mental energy trying to remember them all and by the time you’ve chosen one, you’re less likely to actually do it. So write these down. Hit save. Keep them very handy.
Each category you’ve chosen needs a written (I repeat) written option list to go with it. I used a sticky notes app on my computer for each of my option lists, but you choose whatever method works best for you. These lists will contain all possible tasks within that category that you want to get done and you’ll use them each day to fill out your template.
Caveat #2:
Each item you add to your list has to be small and specific. Vague will shoot you in the foot. So will big. “Clean the house” isn’t getting done (not consistently, anyway), for several reasons. By the time I get to that part of the checklist, I’m too tired to think through something that broad, narrow it down to specific tasks, and then make a decision. But if a specific task is already outlined and all I have to do is exactly what’s written? Different story. Especially if what is written is small enough to feel manageable.
Keep each task small and specific enough to take between 5-30 minutes. Higher energy days can handle higher energy tasks. Lower energy days get the ‘collect the trash around the living room’, 5 minutes or less choice.
Option lists may take a little time to flesh out, but it’s worth it. You can always add more as they come to you later, so you don’t have to think of everything up front. Just make sure whatever you add fit the caveats.
Below is a sample of my housework option list to give you an idea of what I’m outlining here.
You’ll notice some tasks are broken into a few steps, like laundry. I’ve found I’m much more likely to do the laundry if I’m only washing and drying, if I’m only folding, etc… Some days I have it in me to do most or all of the laundry related tasks. Some days I can barely get myself to put a load in. It’s better to make your tasks too small and potentially have some days where you get to more than one, than to make your tasks too big. Too small isn’t a problem. Too small won’t stop you from doing it. Too big absolutely will.
Related: The Key to Getting Motivated When You Have ADHD
Tasks that require research and organization or other additional steps should be broken up even further. If you have a bag of clothes to donate but have no idea where you want to donate them, researching your options will be its own task. If you lump research together with donation, it’s less likely you’ll get around to doing any of it and that bag will continue to collect dust in the corner somewhere.
Action step: Create an option list for each category on your skeleton template. Make each task specific and bite sized so that when it comes time to fill out your template, all you have to do is pick the task that speaks to you and plug it in to your checklist.
Finch app for Reminders:
What good is a system, no matter how awesomely wonderful and effective, if you forget to use it? That was the first problem I encountered. I made my template, I created my lists. Then I promptly forgot about it the first day I planned to use it.
You don’t HAVE to use an app to help you remember, but that’s what I did. I love the Finch app and have been using it for the last several months for other things. If you aren’t familiar with it, you should definitely check it out. It’s a self care app that helps you grow a little finch by taking care of yourself. It’s got goals you can add, reflections you can do, even an emotional first aid kit for days that you really aren’t doing well. Plus, it’s social so you can add friends and send them gifts and good vibes. It’s adorable and I love it and it’s really helped me navigate losing my Dad. (If you need more of a traditional to-do list, Finch is a decent option, too.)
BUT, the part that is relevant here, since I already use the finch app regularly, it was perfect for me to simply add ‘fill out daily checklist’ as one of my goals. I then attached a reminder to it, so the app will notify me every morning that I need to fill out the checklist. Since I already have so much of the checklist outlined and I’m basically just choosing things from a list and filling them in, I don’t ignore or put it off. I also don’t clear the notification until I’ve completed the task because otherwise, I will forget again.
This has helped so much. I’ve actually been consistent for the first time in a very long time.
Optional Reminder Substitutes
Like I said, you don’t have to use an app at all, if that isn’t effective for you. Those of us with ADHD tend to do best with visual reminders, so you could put your template and option lists in a place that’s hard to overlook on brightly colored paper. You could plaster it to the bathroom mirror or tape it to your bedroom door if you need to. You could use a different app that sends notifications if that works better. Whatever helps you remember to do things–do that for this system.
Action Step: Choose your remembering system and go ahead and set it up so it’s ready for you to use.
A Few Important Notes:
- I’ve found that notifications only work for me if I don’t have too many of them. I only allow notifications for things I REALLY don’t want to forget, then I only clear them after they’ve been done. That system may not work for everyone but it’s been helpful to me.
- You will not be perfect at this. Things happen and throw the day off; you have less energy than you thought you did; your brain is done with the monotony of structure, etc… give yourself grace, be flexible, and try again tomorrow. You might only get a couple things done from your list. You might take a day off. That’s okay. If a strategy only works half the time for you, that’s still a 50% improvement from where you were.
- Do not add too many categories to your template. Do not add too many large items to your option lists. Do not make anything vague or catch all. If you find yourself avoiding the checklist because it’s overwhelming, one or more of these things is probably the culprit.
- For the 50 billionth time, make sure you actually physically write these things down. Your lists, your daily checklist…all of it. if you have to try to remember all the these things without something to reference, it won’t work. We need the visual reminder we can reference and we need the option list already formulated with tasks that are small and specific. If you don’t have these things to reference, the whole thing will unravel very quickly.
- Your day has to be manageable so if your structure doesn’t work with the demands of the day, tweak it. I’m finding the best structures for me are solid enough to focus me but flexible enough to move with the demands of the day and whatever energy level my brain starts the morning with.
- Don’t get perfectionistic. You don’t have to complete each task or each day perfectly and expecting yourself to or starting with the mentality that you will be perfect only adds pressure that leads to procrastination, avoidance, and ultimately shame.
That’s All Folks
That’s it! Each morning I take 2 minutes to fill out my template for the day and seeing it written out helps me focus and get mentally prepared to do the things. I haven’t been perfect at it, and you won’t either, but I’ve been so much more consistent than before and it feels nice to know that each day I’m at least doing something toward each of the life categories that are important to me.
If you’re having trouble getting to certain areas of life that are important to you or struggling to balance giving each life domain necessary attention, try this method and let me know how it works for you!
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